Ed. Note: I am part of the Career Collective, a looseknit group of experts in the career space organized by my friends Miriam Salpeter and Jacqui Barrett-Poindexter, who get together once a month (thankfully) to tackle one subject of broad interest to job seekers. This month’s topic: Specific tips to help job seekers really ramp up their efforts for the holiday season and the new year. What should they do with their resumes? To improve their networking? What ideas do we have to help our readers make the most of what some think is a “slow” season for hiring?

My article starts here.

Everywhere you look seems like there’s an article on networking, how to, why to, where to.

I thought I would join in. Why not.

This is for those of you who are uncomfortable ‘networking’ and even with the idea of it. You are basically shy, have to be really coaxed and coaxed to sing at the karoke bar, get vomit-sick when forced to speak in public, and would neverever speak to a stranger, first.

Here’s the secret: We are all like that. All. Of. Us.

Some tips:

1. Get over yourself. The sad and brutal truth is that we are not all watching you. It’s not about you, so much. Have you heard about that famous twitter guy, Justin Halpern? Calling himself @shitmydadsays, he made himself famous by relating what his dad, Samuel, age 73, says to him. Read here. Samuel is constantly reminding Justin of his place in the world, of his smallness. Not in a bad way, mind you. Just colorfully and bluntly. I had a uncle whose favorite saying was, “You’re nothing but a pimple on the ass of progress.” Next time, you are all nervous about meeting someone, speaking to someone, or singing at the bar, don’t do that old Dale Carnegie trick of imagining people naked, just think of those pimples on their asses.

2. Get good at starting conversations. Start at the coffee shop and in the elevator. Say hello. Make a joke. Just say something, anything. Then smile.

3. Everyone has a story. Can you discover their story? Even a small part of it? Where they are from? The more you learn about them, the better. Ask questions, smile.

4. Remember names. Be a name collector. College buddies, work friend, neighbors, family friends, everyone you meet. Get their name written down, hopefully with their contact information. Friend them.

5. But Facebooking is not networking. I guess it can be, but mostly it is about you, isn’t it? Really. Networking is NOT about you, it is about them.

6. Networking works best when you give, not when you take. Too many people start networking when they lose their jobs. They start networking because they have heard that the best jobs come from ‘networking’ or getting references from people inside the company. So, therefore, the more people you ask to help you find a job, the more likely you will be to get that job. This method of random networking is just silly. It does not work that way. People only help those people who are willing to give of themselves, first. What are you bringing to the relationship?

7. You will never know when networking pays off. And you don’t even care when it ‘pays off.’ You have gotten to a better place, where networking is not what you do…what you do is help others, with no hidden agenda of your own.

8. Stay connected. I am constantly amazed at how few people even try to keep me in the loop after we meet. I do tend to accept random requests for networking, and really try to help those who ask me for help. I know they are ‘networking’ in the old style. But even then, very few will follow up with me weeks or months later. They might write to thank me for the coffee, but I seldom hear from them later. I have taken it to the next step and contacted them, asking them how it is going, were they successful, can I offer something more? I am here to tell you, this last part works.

See? Another proof that it is about them and not me. Hope this helps you.

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Last Ed. Note: I have written often about networking, here most recently.

Here are the other members of the career collective. These are outstanding articles. Each and every one. Plus almost all recommend LINKUP.com, the fastest growing job search engine on the web.
@EliteResumes, @MartinBuckland, Elite Resumes, “Season’s Greetings and your Job Search” http://aneliteresume.com/job-search/seasons-greetings-and-your-job-search/

@KCCareerCoach, Career Chaos, “The Gift Every Laid Off Job Seeker Needs”
http://coachmeg.typepad.com/career_chaos/2009/12/the-gift-every-laid-off-job-seeker-needs.html

@resumeservice, Resume Writing Blog,”Holiday Resume Sparkle: Outshine the New Year Job-Search Mob”

http://resume-writing.typepad.com/resume_writing_and_job_se/2009/12/holiday-resume.html

@heathermundell, life@work, “Have a Holly Jolly Job Search” http://dbcs.typepad.com/lifeatwork/2009/12/making-seasons-bright-during-your-job-search.html

@LaurieBerenson, Sterling Career Concepts, Three Resolutions to Take It Up a Notch, http://blog.sterlingcareerconcepts.com/2009/12/07/three-resolutions-to-take-it-up-a-notch.aspx

@KatCareerGal, Quintessential Resumes and Cover Letters Tips Blog, Avoiding the Holiday Blues in Your Job Search, http://resumesandcoverletters.com/tips_blog/2009/12/avoiding-the-holiday-blues-in.html

@WorkWithIllness, WorkingWithillness.com, Avoid this Minefield: Drive Your Bus http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2009/12/avoid-the-minefield-that-says-no-holiday-here/

@DawnBugni, The Write Solution Could that sound really be opportunity? During the Holidays?

http://thewritesolution.wordpress.com/2009/12/10/could-that-sound-really-be-opportunity-during-the-holidays/

@andyinnaples, Shift Your Focus to the Highest Impact Job Search Activities During the Holidays to Leverage Your Time, http://careersuccess.typepad.com/my_weblog/2009/12/job-search-follow-the-8020-rule.html

@erinkennedycprw, Professional Resume Services, How to keep up the Job Hunt during the Holidays, http://exclusive-executive-resumes.com/job-search/how-to-keep-up-the-job-hunt-during-the-holidays/

@keppie_careers, Keppie Careers, Four tips for effective networking follow-up for the holidays and the rest of the year,
http://www.keppiecareers.com/2009/12/08/four-tips-for-effective-networking-follow-up-for-the-holidays-and-the-rest-of-the-year/

@ValueIntoWords, Career Trend, Navigating the Mistle Toe of Job Search,http://careertrend.wordpress.com/2009/12/09/story-of-one-job-seekers-navigation-through-the-holiday-noise/
@GLHoffman, What Would Dad Say,Merry Christmas! Can I Buy You Coffee to Talk About Me?http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/
@BarbaraSafani, Career Solvers,“Holiday Networking Can Facilitate New Year Opportunities” -http://www.careersolvers.com/blog/2009/12/09/holiday-networking-can-facilitate-new-year-opportunities/

@chandlee, The Emerging Professional Blog, Footprints & Associations: Job Search Tips for the Holidays
http://emergingprofessional.typepad.com/the_emerging_professional/2009/12/holidayjobsearch.html