If (the) Seth Godin can use TW in a blog title, so can I.

Big leap.

The subject of networking comes up most often as it relates to searching for a job.  Unfortunately, most of us begin to network when we are out of work, not before.  Take a one stroke penalty if you’ve made this mistake.

Networking is really about finding common interests in others and beginning new, long term relationships.  If you are only trying for short term, me-first kinds of relationships with the people YOU meet, take a two stroke penalty here.

The most likely reason that people don’t network effectively is they view themselves as introverts or as simply being shy.  I understand this.

Here are some tips to overcome this:

1.  It truly is not about you.  It is more about the other person.  Ask questions, find their interesting story, learn from them, ask advice.  Strive for a conversation that is 25% you, 75% them.

2.  Show up often. Put yourself in situations where you will meet new and interesting people.  At first, you might feel all spotlighted, where no one speaks to you.  But by the second or fifth time that you show up, people will warm up and friend you.

3.  Do some of out-of-the-box things. Sky dive, bungee jump, start a novel, start a company, go to the Super Bowl, crash a White House dinner, etc.  People love hearing stories from others, so make some stories that you can relate, simply, directly and humbly.  You get the idea.

4.  Remember your manners.  Smile a lot. Say please and thank you.  Hold doors open. Make eye contact. Say “and” more than you say “but.”  Be positive.  These are the things your mom taught you.

5.  Networking is like dating.  You don’t walk up to the pretty girl at the bar and say “Want to go home with me?”  This only works if you can hit a drive 350 yards, look good in red polo shirts, and have, what, a billion dollars?

This year there have been two popular concepts that have made me want to kick a small animal.  1. “networking” because most who talk about it miss the main point—it’s about others, really, and 2. “personal branding” which is really about reputation.  If we all spent more time maintaining our reputations, we might not need image consultants.

Ed. Note:  The non-Tiger version ran today over at US News and World Report.