Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage, philosopher and comedian this country has ever known, Mark Twain aside. For those of you non-history buffs, you can read a bit more about him here. I ran across these quotes today and thought I would share them, and not just because sometimes we all need just a smile, (not even a LOL). It made me wonder which of todays’ comedians have produced the body of work this guy did–Chris Rock? Robin Williams? Jerry Seinfeld? Tim Allen? Larry the Cable Guy? Steven Wright? Eddie Murphy?
Here are but just a few of what made Will Rogers the most popular man in American in the early 1930’s:
1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman…neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
11. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral:
When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER…
First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Sixth ~ I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.
And finally ~ If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.





9 users commented in " Will Rogers, Still the Best "
When it comes to comedic wisdom, no one has ever topped Will Rogers in my book.
Thanks for a breath of fresh air to someone who is a bit dried up and leaky. Mike
Simple. Genius.
Awww, Julie, thanks. Oh, you meant HIM.
This was a real treat. I recently reread some Erma Bombeck to pull pack that common sense humor and perspective that puts my perspective back. But I do think Will Rogers is still the best. Thanks for this. Celia.
Steve Martin… gotta get a mention in for The Jerk. He’s a funny guy. Nice Will Rogers tribute, thanks. M
GL,
The first word was about you; the second was about Will Rogers.
(Sorry, you set it up so I couldn’t resist.)
I’ve reached that age where being called an “OF” (thats “old folks”) has become a compliment and I NEVER miss a chance to read Will Rogers. The man knew what real humor is, todays TV comics think foul language is humor.
Will Rogers was one of a kind.
One of my favorite quotes from him is, “I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
Paul
Eat Well. Live Well.
PurpleGreenPops.com
Leave A Reply