The newspaper-bashing arena is Toby’s domain, hobby and expertise (here, here and here) and he has already mentioned this news item re: an attorney suing a daily newspaper for not being worth the money he paid when he subscribed.
Turns out, an attorney with more time than sense in Raleigh, NC, is suing the Raleigh News and Observer because what with staff cuts, and this inter-web thing, they have reduced the amount of news he is getting in his daily paper. It’s not worth the 36 cents he pays every day, but according to Freakonomics writer Stephen Dubner, his lawsuit does open limitless possibilities on future plantiff actions.
Here are some lawsuits I’d like to file. Why don’t you join in, who would you like to sue?
1. Juliette Lewis. I have actually paid over $20 to watch her movies. She owes me.
2. MN Department of Transportation who built a pedistrian bridge to nowhere, similar to the one in Alaska.
3. Little league moms who thought up the “no one strikes out, everyone’s a winner!!” rule, of 10-15 years ago. Her kids are paying the price in the workplace now, but SHE never did pay.
4. Similarly, it’s not fair that Steve Jobs gets so much positive press and money, just because he is smarter, more creative and more forward thinking than the rest of us. Let’s Sue Steve (LSS).
5. Any state that allows state-run job boards to spend money to duplicate what is best offered by private enterprise.
I had another one, suing parents who name their own kids some stoopid name, but a court in New Zealand beat me to it, ruling that parents must lose custody of their own kid for naming her Talula Does The Hula. Read about it here.
Have at it–leave a comment with your “I want to sue…”rant.
6 users commented in " Five Lawsuits That Need Filing. Join In. "
1) I want to sue Larry the Cable Guy for dumbing down our culture and introducing the term “Get ‘er done.” I even accidentally use it sometimes and I hate it with the white hot passion of a thousand suns.
2) I have a separate suit for MnDOT. Specifically the person who thought it was a good idea to merge MN Highway 62 and 35W, two of our most heavily traveled roadways, into one road for one mile. Seriously, how did anyone not have the foresight to say, “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”
3) Last one, I promise. I want to sue the person who came up with the idea to cut off Nicollet Ave in South Minneapolis, one of our most historic and celebrated streets, and put a fricken K-MART in that spot. Search “3001 Nicollet ave Minneapolis MN” in google maps and you’ll see what I mean. The neighborhood businesses North of there do really well, the ones South of there struggle for about 8 blocks, then it picks up as you move further South and away from K-Mart. Guess where I live?
Not bad, Adam, not bad. MNDOT is just too easy, I still like the idea of having one person, a sort of overload on transportation, who has the power to say just what you recommend…”maybe this isn’t such a good idea.” If someone asks to put up the orange cones a full day before they are actually needed, eg, he says…whoa…not a good idea.
I like Larry.
Hallelujah!
And while we’re at it, can we sue Microsoft for crashing my computer every chance they get? I should totally be able to prove damages in lost work and productivity because their programs are shit and conflict with each other and god forbid I try to use a non-microsoft program.
Comcast! This is my sixth consecutive day with the Internet down. By phone (house phone, since my business VOIP obviously doesn’t work), they informed me that it was a full node outage for planned upgrades and that 2,687 customers were out because of it. It was a planned action – and they didn’t tell us while we still had email! I’m going road warrior and using my laptop and my Sprint card until it is back. It’s a pain in the butt.
Oh, and that is after 3 weeks with no Hi-Def TV while they upgraded the neighborhood ending this past Saturday – again without notice or warning. I SUFFER without my Hi-Def!
EVERY cable company should be on the list. MSFT, fersure, too, UsedToBeMe. Which is why I am now on my second year with a MacBook Pro.
I also want to sue microsoft for crashing my computer today (09-09-09). I also think I have a good case against them. I installed an update to Adobe Flash Player. 10 minuts later my computer reboots all by its self. As it boots it says “Windows was automatically updated and required a reboot of your system”, or something to that affect. Then suddenly, quite abruptly, the Blue Screen of Death. The computer was dead. It would not reboot again. I could get it to the Windows logo screen and then, Blue again. I had to reinstall windows, all my programs (Some of which I could not replace), and ALL my music, pictures, family videos, EVERYTHING. I used this computer to run my business (I own a recording studio, and everything is computer based). The crazy thing is this: I have Automatic Updates TURNED OFF!!! There is no reason for my computer to update ‘Automatically’. This means microsoft hacked into my system, updated my computer, and caused it to crash. Is this not an invasion of privacy? Who, or what law gives them permission to eavesdrop on people? I hate microsoft because nothing of theirs works, and if you use another vendor for whatever purpose, they ‘punish’ you for doing so, by hacking your computer, and doing what they want. Can anyone recommend an attorney?
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