Who among us hasn’t uttered these words: “When I grow up, I am NOT going to be like my dad!” I am sad to say, I am more like him than I care to admit.
As my father got older, he became a curmudgeon like Peter Boyle on Everyone Loves Raymond. His favorite thing to do, it seemed to me, was to lecture people who had no desire to hear his in-depth analysis of their personal and work habits. If I were around when this happened, I would try to catch the person’s eye, and slightly roll my eyes as if to say, “I know, I know, what can I do, he’s my dad and he’s old?” This giving-advice-to-people-who-don’t-want-it is annoying, righteous and condescending, at best. It’s one thing to do it in a blog like this, quite another to randomly select people and expound on something; you know, to “cure” or “fix” them.
I did it, and not just once, but twice this week.
First, I thought my dry cleaner delivery guy would like to know that I think it would be helpful if he would split up our clothes and not combine my wife’s clothes with my own in one plastic bag. I think it is a bit of a hassle to tear the bag off, unwind that little twine-y, thing-y thing, and separate her clothes from mine. It would be far simpler if they would just do it for me. I caught him, rolling his eyes at me.
And then, yesterday, I am getting my haircut and the stylist girl is being a bit rambunctious with the comb. I must have sensitive ears because it actually hurt. Ok, not like a big, serious hurt, but… still. So, I find myself actually saying to her, cleverly asking “why is it that some stylists seem to be very careful with the comb and others jab ears with it?” Subtle, I thought.
But, nooooo, I caught her eyes rolling, too. So, I didn’t even bother with my tip that she not chew gum while cutting hair, but maybe next time….
Just curious here—What things did your own mom or dad do that annoyed you? Or, what things are you doing that you swore you would never do?
14 users commented in " I Am Now Officially My Own Dad "
GL, I wrote a short piece on something I want to improve on and I have to admit the advice flows too freely from my mouth when with family. I want them to avoid mistakes.
However, I’ve had to train myself to keep my mouth shut.
Here’s a plan that’ll really help you turn this around. Every time you catch yourself giving advice, give the person who received it $5.00. Tell them it’s a gift to them along with the advice. When you have to shell out money, it soon stops a bad habit. It worked for me and it didn’t take long, either.
Hummmm. Thanks, Robyn. Let me see….I asked for stories about your mom or dad and yet, the illness GOT you, too!!! I am laughing here, not at you, mind you, but hopefully with you. lol.
You can send the $5 to my office.
Mr. GL (now that you’re your dad):
I want to give you $5 too, but first I’ll tell you that my dad, at 88, is STILL lecturing me on the nature of the cosmos and how our bodies are like microcosms of the macrocosm, all interconnected, blah blah yawn. Even though, basically, I love my dad’s core philosophies, my sister and I can’t resist rolling our eyes at each other when gets into pontification mode for the 88th Christmas in a row.
The $5 part: try saying “OUCH” next time you’re getting tortured by the comb.
My father’s daughter.
Hi Lisa…down deep aren’t we all better off getting this advice from mom and dad? I know my own kids are, for sure.
This is going to be a real money maker for me, I can see already.
Hey GL!
One of the things my Mom did that caused many eyes to roll was pay for things at the grocery story with change that she would dig out of the bottom of her very large purse. It was always amazing to all around her how much money she could dig out of the recesses of that bag. I don’t do that…….I just carry my change in my jacket pocket (which makes makes me a bit lopsided) so I can dig it out in a hurry. Bless my mother’s heart, she loved change more than she did money you could fold……..she carried that rolled up in little rolls in her glass case and told me that IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO HER
Corky…too cute. I am waiting for Conrad to weigh in here….or even, Carly. I am sure Conrad’s will be more about something cute, than annoying. But Carly’s…
Some way or other I didn’t get to finish what I was saying, lol. Mom was telling me to look in her glass cases, which I did and found several $100 bills in there. She owned a small piece of property in Salina and when the rent payment came in she would put part of it in the bank and part of it in her glass cases. I really doubt that Conrad will dare admit (out in the open) that we were anything but absolutely perfect, ho, ho, ho! Carly tells it like it is (a bit like her aunt Viki). It is good to be able to correspond with you even if I don’t want a job…..I’ve got way more to do than I can get done now.
GL, I’m sure you remember the “old man noise” your dad made whenever he stood up or sat down, right? Well, to my chagrin, after all these years, I’ve discovered the awful truth – it does help!
If you mean the groaning and moaning, yep. But the other?…usually only when I am with strangers…purely accidental. methinks my dad did it on purpose, however, as shock value! I am not that old yet, but it just be one of the positive things we will be able to do at that age.
Corky…now i know you are ‘with it’…fer sure. Anyone who knows what LOL means and can use it in a sentence ‘gets it.’
If you look at my Dad and look at me, I look like they popped out a duplicate and inflated it a little. He used to tick me off doing the lawn when I was a teenager – but what doesn’t tick you off when you’re a teenager that your parents want you to do, right? Every blade of grass on the lawn and every leaf on the hedge had to be perfect. I don’t know if it was six hours we spent on that thing or not – but that’s how I remember it!
#1, he’s changed and isn’t nearly as obsessive about it now. #2, I’m not really worth a damn at keeping my own lawn up. BUT, I still managed to push my boy through the ritual! By the way, that boy was supposed to do some plumbing work for me this past weekend…
You will notice he did not mention his Mom because he knew I’d be waiting and watching!! Ask him about the time we went to the grocery store in Manhattan and I didn’t have enough money for a Fudgecicle….ask him what he called me…….I nearly died, right on the spot. There were no lol’s in the Hake household for awhile that day……also the day he was not going to eat his breakfast but decided that maybe it would be wise to do so…..he was in high school then. Really, we got along beautifully and I remember “the good old days” with joy.
CLEAVAGE. CLEEEEEEVVVVAAAGGGEEE. It was the 1960’s, my mother was divorced and you get the point. Yes, it was beyond annoying and I always cover up. SHORT HAIR. Hate it, my mother always comments on my long hair and how I should have short hair. She even will say “I know I shouldn’t say anything, but…” She just can’t help herself. My daughter prefers short hair and looks cute and I just bite my lip. She looks cute and its her thing. Her new wing tattoos nearly killed me, however. We don’t talk about those. My father drinks most every day. It annoys my brothers and none of us drink daily. OH YEAH, PERFUME. ESTE LAUDER KILL THE BUGS PERFUME. Youth Dew oil in a bathtub will fumigate an entire neighborhood, and I dealt with it on date nights. Please don’t do these things to your children. I’m scarred.
Dear Mad…Hilarious, and yes, i do get the points(sorry).
Well, we can’t pick our parents, i have heard said. Even with my own kids, I find myself saying something and AT THE SAME TIME, thinking why why why why why…I just can’t help myself.
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