Don’t Understand Your Baby Boomer Boss? 8 Reasons Why We Act the Way We Do.

When us baby boomers get together in our secret clubs (bridge, book or gourmet), we talk about the younger generations we see at work. It makes for fascinating conversation. I thought I would try to enlighten and explain a bit today. I don’t think the problem is them, they don’t understand US.

Truth be known, we are mostly critical and negative about how you work at work. Not me, mind you, but the others.

We are doing our best to understand you. We read book after book, and try to understand how you ended up this way. We raised you, yet we can’t figure you out.

As a group, boomers are self-conscious, reflective and judgmental. We are the ‘me’ generation. You are the “why?” generations.

Your grandparents and you come at things from opposite directions but meet up in the middle. You are more selfish, they are selfless; you demand, they accept; you are smarter, but they can do math in their head. The sad truth: We raised you, but you are more like them than us. That well may be our defining sentence about our relationship with YOU.

Having admitted that, we believe we raised you perfectly. After all, we had Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, and spent more money on your every wish than ever, but look at what we created. What happened to our perfect kids once they hit the workplace? Even now, we are in denial…our own kids are doing ok, it’s ‘their’ kids who aren’t.

“Why aren’t you more like us?” is what we really want to know.

“Why aren’t you more like us?” is a typical boomer question and not very relevant. Certainly, it’s a question that is not very helpful for better understanding in the workplace. Your grandparents (the Greatest Generation) would never ask such a question. Nor would yours.

Why we ask a question like this should interest you, if only because you will be taking over soon. We know how you developed, I am not so sure you know how we did.

Here is what was happened ‘back in the day’ that had a dramatic impact on our generation. This is not a complete list.

1. The Depression and The Big War.
2. The Shoes of Nikita Kruschev.
3. The Mini-Skirt.
4. The Beatles: Us: Fun, Great Songs; Our Parents: Long-Haired Commies.
5. One Small Step…
6. Mayberry RFD or cousins, cousins, cousins.
7. VietNam, Watergate and Laugh-In: The Dismantling of Authority
8. Mickey Mantle, Johnny U and UCLA basketball.

To read about each one, go to the next page…

1. The Depression and The Big War.

Our parents were raised in THE Depression and don’t think we didn’t hear about THAT every single day when we were growing up. They were the ones who walked five miles to school, uphill both ways, in the snow, with handmedown shoes and an apple for lunch.
Looking back on that now, I think it had the most dramatic impact on their lives since it happened in their teen years. They were poor, not sure if they would have a meal poor, not “I didn’t get a new XBOX,” poor. It affected their outlook on everything—debt, education, getting a good, mostly secure job, handyman-itis (our dads had ‘serious’ tools and could use ‘em) and family.

And then, World War II. Brokaw called your grandparents “the greatest generation” for lots of reasons but to me, the Second World War was their generation’s defining event. You don’t need a history lesson here, but the selflessness, patriotism and the sheer mental and physical toughness they endured was mostly ignored by us, but appreciated mightily when we started getting wiser and older.

It is interesting to me that we actually didn’t hear very much about the war from them. Contrast that to their ‘back when I was a kid’ depression talk, they didn’t say much about the war. I think it was so deep seated, heart punishing almost, they didn’t want us to participate in it on any level. In their own way, they were protecting themselves, and us too. Remember the opening scene in “Saving Private Ryan” when the Mom collapses on her porch as the Army chaplains arrive at the farm to tell her of her sons’ death? That happened every day. Sacrifices were commonplace on the battlefield and in every home.

Now, I can understand what happened right after the war. These returning warriors were modern day Tom Bradys, Steve Jobs and Bill Clintons. They were world-smart, tough as nails, conquerors in a quiet, it-wasn’t-me sort of way. They were studs and studettes, they really were. As their kids, we might have had an unspoken feeling of never being tested, like they were,and always wondering how we would compare.

2. The Shoes of Nikita Kruschev.

I was going to title this section “Bomb Shelter,” for the dramatic imagery. Imagine growing up in elementary school hearing talk about building bomb shelters and wondering how your family would find one when the alarm sounded. We just knew getting under the desk wouldn’t help much.

But, to me, the Russian Premier pounding his shoes on the desk at the UN scared me more. Here was an adult, the leader of our enemy when it was easy to tell who our enemies were, looking completely out of control. And he told us directly that he was going to bury us and he had the nuclear bombs to do it, too. This was no idle, saber-rattling threat. It might have been the start of the Cold War, but to us 8-12 year olds, it wasn’t all that cold–he scared the bejesus out of us. I can’t think of a current world leader that causes a similar fear…that Ahmadinejad fellow in Iran looks silly and stupid, Kim Jong Il looks soft and cornered, even Osama Bin Laden is in perpetual hiding.  Nikita was not like any of them, he was out in plain sight, he was one tough sumbitch, he hated America, and he was coming for us. We believed that.

3. The Mini-Skirt.

Was this the symbol of the sexual revolution or of feminism, I don’t know which. All I know is we have struggled with both ever since.

You have observed this struggle in us, I am sure. You even laugh at our old fashionedness or awkwardess, but this may be two of the most significant things we got mostly right. We will take credit for it.

Speaking for fathers of my generation, nothing makes me prouder than seeing our daughters get equal footing, opportunity and rewards.

4. The Beatles: The first conflict. For us, fun, and great songs. For our parents: Long-Haired Commies.

I think we can all agree right now, that our music was the best, can’t we? I think that has pretty much been admitted by everyone already.

But still. In my house, the music was never debated past the turn-it-down-it’s-too-damn-loud level. But the HAIR. It was pretty much the dominant argument between dads and sons.

Seriously, if you doubt how radical we were, just listen to the music. The more our parents hated it, for whatever reason, we embraced it and made it more-more-more whatever it was or had. But overall, it was the hair.

Each time our parents caught on to us, we moved on. They started liking the Beatles, we got into the Rolling Stones. They tolerated the Stones, we got KISS. Then our parents started being ok with our longer hair, so we cut it off. We were contrary, anti-whatever, and wanted change before it became a political movement.

We went through all this, just like you do with your music and Youtube. Which is why, we pretty much don’t care about your music—been there, done that.

5. One Small Step…

The moon landing, 1969. This was inspiring to us. We listened when JFK said we were going to the moon and, less than a decade later, we were there.

It was one of the earliest examples of defining a goal that seemed insurmountable, and reaching it. I think it had a dramatic on our possibility-thinking side, of optimism and growth. Back then, little Stevie Jobs was watching the moon landing, and was most likely thinking about some day about putting little mini-TVs in everyone’s pocket. It ALL started when Neil Armstrong took the first step. I-POD is so “spacey” sounding, isn’t it?

The moon landing came at the perfect time for us. VietNam, racial inequality, the new drug culture, and leaders we were beginning not to trust made us cynical. The moon landing countered that.

Again, it was awesome and it was happening just as we were getting pushed out into the world, a big moment. Our first A-HA awakening of what could happen with big dreams.

6. Mayberry RFD or cousins, cousins, cousins.

Mayberry RFD was a quasi famous TV show we watched, starring Andy Griffith and Ronnie Howard,..yes, that Ron Howard. It pretty much typified our world view of families and how one should treat family members or people in the community. It was pure Americana, not cynical…just…nice.
When we were kids, families got together a LOT. Almost every Sunday we went to one grandparents’ house or the other. There, we found our cousins. We were closer to them than our own friends. Can you imagine THAT? Thing was, our extended families were a car ride apart, not an airplane trip. It was easier, less complicated and in many ways more fun. We were connected by blood, accepted no matter what. We have always had this feeling of wishing it could still be so.

We regret we have become so isolated and have taught you little about your extended family.

7. VietNam, Watergate and Laugh-In: The Dismantling of Authority.

Again, no history lesson here but VietNam was a defining, yet dividing element in our youth. No matter if you were for it, or against it, we left an important part of us when the last helicopter got chased off the embassy rooftop(first picture above). We lost. And more importantly, our leaders lost their cloak of honesty of doing the right thing.  No matter what side, all of us felt a bit betrayed.

Then Watergate. On one hand, it was compelling theater—watching good journalism win, of watching Congressional hearings by people who were bigger than life. Compare Sam Ervin to Henry Waxman, for example. Watergate taught us to question authority, or never trust it. The ‘crooks’ was real. But there were still giants around, and they got us through it all. We wonder where today’s giants are: Nancy Pelosi, Trent Lott? Please.

We were questioning authority at every level and Laugh-In made it cool. Think Saturday Night Live, on speed. We laughed and made fun of all the old guys who had lost their way. SNL or Punk’d would not have happened without Goldie Hawn, Lily Tomlin(pictured), Rowan and Martin.

We were hurt, but we ended up laughing at it and ourselves.

But this distrust of authority played out in other areas, too. It followed the law of unintended consequences. We eased up on education,  as in “we don’t care about grammar, it is the idea that matters.” We wanted every player on the little league team to be treated fairly and we thought not keeping score would help your self esteem.  Manners were “old hat,”  something our parents did, but we forgot to teach you. We allowed the thought of “why punish little Sammy just because he is not quite as good or smart as the others,” creep into the culture and become accepted behavior, not understanding that mediocrity left un-checked grows and grows.

We want a do-over in this area if it is not too late.

8. Mickey Mantle, Johnny U and UCLA basketball.

We were loyal to our favorite teams, just like the players were. Think Mickey Mantle ever thought about not being a Yankee. Did Johnny Unitas ever really want to leave Baltimore? Of course not. They were loyal and so were we. There is something fun about being ‘homers’ and it is easier when the players were that way too. It affected towns, communities, coffee shop talk and an overall connection that is missing today.

UCLA basketball was the same way. John Wooden was the greatest coach of all time and his teams of that era were special. He taught teamwork and selflessness in a sport that was about to go all individual and Michael Jordan on you. It was inspiring to watch if only because we knew it would never happen quite that way again.

If your dad was a Cubs fan, so were you. He may have been a Republican, and you went Democratic…but you would never go against the family team. The ties that bind were not just family, they were the connection you felt with Yogi, Whitey and the guys.

To You Boomers: Did I miss anything?

To You Others: Does that help?

Tags: Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, “Why aren’t you more like us?”, The Depression and The Big War, Nikita Kruschev, Mini-Skirt, The Beatles, One Small Step, Mayberry RFD, VietNam, Watergate, Laugh-In, Mickey Mantle, Johnny U, UCLA basketball, “the greatest generation”, Second World War, “Saving Private Ryan”, Cold War, Osama Bin Laden, Rolling Stones, KISS, Youtube, Stevie Jobs, Neil Armstrong, Ron Howard, Sam Ervin, Henry Waxman, Nancy Pelosi, Trent Lott, Goldie Hawn, Lily Tomlin, John Wooden, baby boomers, baby boomers in the workplace, baby boomers working with other generations, generation y, generation x, baby boomers vs generation x, understanding the baby boomer at work