Note: I have been bugging a friend’s high school senior daughter to write a blog post for WWDS about dealing with her parents during the college application process. I had a feeling that she might have some interesting advice for helicopter parents. She does. It is always interesting to get real world feedback from my target audience….glh
By Carly
I’ve been told that you need some advice, so here are some tips on how to deal with your kid during the dreaded college application months. First of all, don’t give us extra things to do, like writing blogs like these! I know you like to complain about how your boss is a pain in the ass, or how the house is a mess and you have to do the laundry… but believe it or not, we have a lot to do too AND WE DON’T GET PAID FOR IT! We’re stressed out enough already, and no matter how hard we try to get college applications done early, we always end up going crazy the week before the final deadline trying to get that last one sent in. Trust me. I planned to send in my last college application on November 1, but somehow I’m still not done.
Another thing.. give us your opinions about which college to choose, but ONLY WHEN IT’S ASKED FOR. It’s a REALLY difficult choice for us, choosing a college. When we think we’ve made our final decision and then our parents mention how much they hated the plants in front of our dream college, it really gets us thinking. Believe it or not, we actually listen to what you say. We want your input, but in the end we have to make the decision that’s right for US when it comes to college. Yes, we know you’ll be the ones paying for it (you can stop telling us.. WE KNOW) but you won’t be the ones living there for the next 4 years. So please.. let us make our own decisions about college. You might not like them, but we’ll regret it later on if we give up our dream college because our parents didn’t approve.
Another thing, if you pick one time during your teenager’s life to cut them some slack, make it November of their senior year when all of our college applications are due. After a long day at school, extra-curricular activities, and hearing our teachers nag at us about how we need to work harder, it’s all we can do not to flop down on the couch when we get home and sleep for the next 15 hours. Instead, we have to do mountains of homework. Then, when we finally think we’re done, we’re NOT. There are still college applications to finish, boyfriends to fight with, and of course all of that stress is showing up in those pimples that just will NOT go away. So I’m sorry if I didn’t have time to wash the dishes and that I left my socks on the floor. Please don’t yell at me. Give me a break.. I’m only planning my FUTURE here. There are only 24 hours in a day, so don’t give us 45 hours of things to do. No matter how much you might want to go back to your hippie days, you’re probably forgetting that a lot of the time being a teenager just plain SUCKS. So cut us some slack. Be supportive, but let us make our own decisions. Be there when we need you, but leave us the heck alone. Give us hugs, but not in front of our friends. And for goodness sake… stop telling us about when you were a teenager “back in the day”. It’s five minutes of our lives that we’ll never get back because no matter what you say, we know that you didn’t walk 20 miles to school uphill both ways.
There’s your teenage advice for the day. Now turn off your computer, stop trying to be cool by going on the same websites as your kid, and RELAX. The dishes can wait an extra day, so go tell your teenager that he or she is a pretty cool kid, then GIVE US SOME SPACE. Good luck!
Love, Carly
(a teenager who knows these things)
7 users commented in " To all those parents whose kids are getting ready for college "
I resemble this helicopter parent—–but in my defense I so enjoy the hovering.
Good post GL——-but please don’t cheat me out of my fun…I only get one more time to be the wanna be cool dad.
My daughter already thinks I should be on Dateline “to catch a predator” because I have a facebook account.
Why, reading between the lines, it seems to me that these parents are practically perfect, MARVELOUS in every way! Why, when I was a boy, working three jobs to afford shoes so I wouldn’t need to walk to school barefoot in the snow, we would have paid good money to have a set of parents like these people must be.
I must admit to attending practices as well as games.
Hold the presses! I just realized that my Mom reads this blog and the comments! Just kidding, Ma! You guys were the perfect parents.
Truthfully this is a great perspective—I don’t want to make lite of her effort, in fact it was very well written.
I for one would like to see more of this type of post. As a baby boomer I feel very far removed from perspectives other than my own.
Happy Thanksgiving
Mike, I look forward to your comments every day. I’m being ornery and silly about this because I was sitting across the room when she wrote it. I would never act this way with someone else’s kid. I’m just countering the tendency for my buttons to pop off my shirt at unexpected moments.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, Mike!
To all you folks that answered the post from Carly, her grandfather and I knew that she was going to be a “say it like it is genius” when we walked into the condo at Lake Tahoe (we planned to have a week’s vacation with Conrad and family until Joe screwed it up by having a heart attack) and she stopped eating her “ogurt” long enough to say, “Grandma Corky, go home!” She was 20 months old at the time and has been going strong ever since. Her parents have good reason to be proud of her! Papa Joe gave her a harmonica when she was 4 years old and she promptly learned to make real music on it. She has much to learn and our only problem with that is that we probably won’t be around to watch her do the biggest part of it. Being old ain’t for sissies but it sure is fun to brag about your grandkids……and for those of you that have ever “in the good old days” read SMILING JACK in the comics, don’t let the buttons fly very far or the chicken will get them!
Happy Thanksgiving to y’all, Mom
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