Job hunting can be a lonely, frustrating, emotionally draining experience. It sucks.

And the last thing a job seeker needs is some advice-giving, I-got-a-job-already, never-been-in-your-shoes, irrelevant, and even condescending ‘expert’ spouting off some positive thinking bullshit. It sucks.

Most of the job seeker’s support family has ditched him. He is simply too hard to be around. They think he is an energy sucker, or at worst, a black hole of complete negativity and self-pity unworthy of further help and conversation. Oh, I am sure they tried to be helpful, and nice, and just full of ideas. Now, you are alone. It sucks.

It especially sucks when you, the job seeker, have useful and relevant skills and attitudes to bring to a company and job. Unlike seemingly most in the workforce, you want to work and work hard. You read about all these myspace office workers bragging about web browsing all day and it just pisses you off. Don’t they know how good they have it? Two words: it sucks. Even more to the point, it sucks to be you.

Don’t expect some psycho-bable, anti-depression “the worst thing to say to a depressed person is to get over it” blog posting from me either. I don’t know even know you.

So, wallow away.

Here is what I do know…and you know this, too. You really do. You know that people hire for attitude first, skills next. You know that employers like people who don’t have your current and very transparent as shit ain’t it frickin awful attitude. Still, it sucks and you can’t ‘get there.’

What to do?

Coupla’ things to try. First, you ain’t the first and you won’t be the last. Others have been in your same situation. If they can work their way out of this, you can too. Realize this and own it—you are there now but how long is up to you. It always helps me to remember others who really have a reason for a pity party—think Jeffrey Skilling, Senator Larry Craig or Miss South Carolina.  Or, her dad.

Next, get a new support group. Find someone to listen, hopefully someone with slightly more positive energy than you. You can’t? BS. I don’t care if you have to walk up to some well-dressed guy at Starbucks and say, “hi, excuse me, could I join you here?” to get a conversation going, you just gotta take charge here. And…as soon as you can, say these magic words to your new friend…”I’d like some help (or advice).”

Think about finding a job in new ways. Create a job for yourself at a company you want to work for…sell them on your idea. Find the un-advertised jobs. Do you know about the half the jobs are never advertised…check out company websites for their jobs section. Look for the jobs that are open NOW and real. If you are only looking on a big job board for your next job…well, you should be depressed. There are department heads out there who are sitting in some conference room right now hoping to find you.

After a short period of grief-like wallowing, you will pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get on with it. It is a natural process, it will get better. Be ready for it.

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