Some time ago, a family friend watched as his start up failed. Now, he has packed up his family, moved across the country and is attempting to re start his career…and life. This is his story…

~by Will B. Happy

The dead do tell tales.

One of the things I do a lot of is reading. Ima and I both watch a few movies and no television. We read a lot and surf a lot, I guess that kind of dates us weird mix of luddites (minimal TV) and cutting edge types.

I am a TV junkie and therefore quit and went cold turkey years ago. I watch netflix movies on a big screen. TV just sucks up too many hours, then days and finally hours of your life. Even with a DVR, I still like reading and picking out select films. The average TV show now has 20 minutes of ads per hour of programming. Come on that’s gross. How many of you out there would hand over 1/3 of your life over to someone else. Digital slavery is alive and well for too many of us and the primary agent is apathy.

The average job hunt is a mixture of a gaping void punctuated with the occasional rejection. Think about it, you are on your own sending out messages and networking etc. all on your own. The vast majority of feedback is being ignored or rejected. Ouch.

Let’s get something positive to focus on. Firstly we are not alone. Every one has been through failure and dismal times. The greatest people have been through similar issues of self doubt and rejection. You are in a place many other have been in.

Use their successes and courage to inspire. Ima and I love to read the obituary section of the Economist magazine each week. The most interesting people have overcome huge things. Here is an example from American History of one of our greatest losers turned winner:

His family was force out of their home.
He had to work to support them.
His mother died.
Failed in business
Ran for state legislature – lost
Also lost his job – wanted to go to law school but couldn’t get in.
Borrowed some money from a friend to begin a business and by the end of the year he was bankrupt. He spend the next 17 years of his life paying off his debt.
Ran for state legislature again – won.
Was engaged to be married, sweetheart died and his heart was broken.

Had a total nervous breakdown and was in bed for six months.
Sought to become speaker of the state legislature – defeated. 1840 Sought to become elector – defeated.
Ran for Congress – lost.
Ran for Congress again – this time he won – went to Washington and did a good job.
Ran for re-election to Congress – lost.
Sought the job of land officer in his home state – rejected.
Ran for Senate of the United States – lost.
Sought the Vice-Presidential nomination at his party’s national convention – got less than 100 votes.
Ran for U.S. Senate again – again he lost.
Elected president of the United States.

Learn who he was by clicking on this link

If you want a business example of multiple failures becoming success have a look at a fellow who went bankrupt many times before getting it right and becoming one of the wealthies american’s winner

If you are on the back end of your career or in our youth obsessed American culture feel over the hill remember that Frank Lloyd wright did over 50% of his work after the age of 70.

The ups and down these people faced challenged them, their inner faith and their families. Think about these people, they faced challenges, they persevered.

Think about a time when things were working well for you, when you felt loved, recognized or accomplished. It doesn’t have to be major or business related. Just think about that feeling. That will come back and be back, it will just take some work a few tasks at a time done every day.

My advice from this section is that the dead do tell tales. These tales are some of the cheapest life education available.

Create a list of 3 people who achieved great things you admired and then seek out the challenges they overcame on the internet. Nobody ever has it easy.

Right now things may feel lonely, sending one more resumes into the void feels like buying lottery tickets. Trying to guess what career or job will make you money and make you happy seems an impossible existential question.

These are powerful feelings. Ignore them and think about the long term success you want and the success other have had. Don’t focus on the current situation. Focus on the success and the feeling of the success. It will show up that much faster.

What is your routine like now…each day, what do you do?

I liked this; it is basically the daily routine of 17 top executives and what they do. The great thing is that anybody can do these. If you are out of work try this out. It is vital to have a routine and these are some great steps from proven successful people. I like the thinking, family time and exercise components. Real winners have balance in life. It isn’t all work, it is balance. If you go on a job interview that won’t let you balance, seriously consider saying no. After all it is your life and family we are talking about.

Visit the link and see how early these guys get up and why. http://finance.yahoo.com/expert/article/leadership/23188

  1. Start early.
  2. Get a jump on email.
  3. Exercise every day.
  4. Be thoughtful about the source, form, and timing of your news.
  5. Problem-solve.
  6. Make family time.
  7. Be creative with your morning routine.

I really like the simple rule from the article highlighted here:

“Steve Murphy, CEO of publishing company Rodale, says, “A line in a William Blake poem inspired me to think differently about my day: ‘Think in the morning, act in the noon, read in the evening, and sleep at night.’ This has made a huge difference in my life. Now, I take out a yellow pad every morning and write my thoughts for the day, which allows me to be much more strategic and proactive than reactive.”

Check out the story from Jim Critin and get your phoenix on. If you are going to be a phoenix, best to start acting like one. J http://finance.yahoo.com/expert/article/leadership/23188

Any other tools or tips you have that would help others in your place?

A friend of mine gave me the 5 o’clock club books. I enjoy them and the ethos of getting a long term plan going. The idea is that once you know your long term life goals and what makes you happy, then you should start the job hunt.

You wouldn’t get in your car without knowing where you were going would you. It is a waste of time and money. Same with a job hunt. Figure out your “40 year plan” according to these books, and then take jobs or roles that support it. Your job should not only provide money, but direction and meaning as well. Otherwise, ask yourself what you are really doing.

Get these books from Amazon. Totally worth the money. Ima and I are both reading them. After all a rubber phoenix can’t just bounce randomly, there has to be a goal.

The path may not always be straight, but the destination should be kept in sight at all times.

They include a great excersie called the seven stories. It is all about figuring out what you are good and what you like to do. The author relates the fact that she won a statewide math competition in High School, but hated math. So instead of chasing an aptitude, she chased a passion. Smart move.

The seven stories excersice is all about figuring out the points in your life when you achieved things and were happy, then figuring out what it was about those things you loved so you can repeat them. Were you alone, with a group, indoors, outdoors, completing a long project, in a foreign country, etc. Identify the attributes when you achieve and you are happy, then figure out how to get back to that place. Buy the books www.fiveoclockclub.com The site is a bit of a disaster circa 1997 design practice, but the books content more than make up for it.